My best friend

Among the friends I collected in Ole Country, one is very dear to me. He is a few years older than myself and I have always considered him as an older brother, adviser for everything. No, he is not gay. He is from my community too and our families know each other for over 50 years. He is always the guy I can rely to ask anything, specially business tips.

And he is “ kind of” prince of the community. Not only because he is handsome, he is also a quiet guy with a warm smile and very very very rich. I came to the point where I thought nobody in the world was richer than him. Maybe due to the fact that anywhere businesses were happening in Ole Country-he was always involved. Always in disguise, always behind somebody(the man with the money) or in front of others(as a façade to other people’s money).

I don’t know if you have heard about him-he’s Idi Serra-probably the biggest money launderer in Ole Country. The family started with a very simple service. They would help the community to save money against the local currency- which, due to colourful democracies and dictatorship freak leaders over 60 years, was constantly devalued by decree, confiscated from people in banks etc. By the way, until the very minute I am writing to you, an Ole Country citizen cannot have savings in foreign currency in a local bank, because this service just does not exist in local banks in Ole Country. Now big local banks are allowed(of course) to trade internationally, keeping their own money in hard currency and borrowing overseas. Which means that every devaluation of local currency is instant profit to local banks. And borrowing at some 2% a year overseas and lending to local clients at 12% a month you bet it’s another instant profit. Wouldn’t you just love to be a banker in Ole Country?

So , your average middle guy would trust his money in the hands of Idi’s father, and by a miracle it would appear, in 48 hours, in a bank account anywhere in the 1st World. This is much faster than HSBC, which, since the credit crunch, is taking sometimes over a week to deposit your money. They always say: “ it’s being processed, sir”. But I believe the translation is more like: “it’s being cooked, sir”. Can you argue with a guy on the other side of the line who is in India? Ah, those fellows in HSBC are true geniuses!

Now, don’t you let me get distracted. Idi’s father never, ever missed one cent. You would exchange local money with foreign hard currency with him, handle him the money and he would send it for you. Idi went to Uni(one of the 03 most prestigious, as I told you before)and for the first time, the family got in touch with people out of the community. “Big Goys”, they used to call them in my days. I meant, “Goys”. Tell you later.